To Be A Hero
by eden alice
Summary: Was it easy dying? Was it easy to leave me on my own?" Somthing sort my muse made me write


To Be A Hero

Shalimar stood just in the entrance of the lab watching Adam work intently with some sort of dangerous looking chemical. She shifted on the balls of her feet slightly and brought her arms in front of her feeling uncomfortable. She stood in silence for as long as possible feeling like a schoolgirl in the headmaster's office. With her natural confidence falling her she waited for her presence to be noticed rather than announcing herself.

After a long moment Adam turned. His brow lowered in irritation of having his work interrupted. His gaze softens as he saw the blond standing behind him. He twisted his body so that he was facing her entirely forgetting about the sensitive chemicals currently reacting in the transparent test-tube. A slight grin tugged gently on his face in sympathy for Shalimar.

She looked just like she did when she was a young girl in his care. Head lowered with big brown eyes looking up at him hopefully. Curly locks of blond fell around face making her pout only partially visible. She stood in silence as a single tear slid from her wide eye and made a wet trail down her cheek to the corner of her mouth and of her chin unnoticed.      

"Shalimar, come here…" Adam said. Standing he opened his arms wide. The feral hesitated for a moment. Rolling her eyes in the childishness of the scene unfolding. A moment later she hurried into Adam's arms as if once there everything would be fine with the world. She rested her head on the taller mans chest and allowed her sobs to come with no shame.

Adam held her in silence. One hand gently rubbing her back, the other tangled in her hair and placed supportively on the back of her neck. He placed his chin on top of her head and whispered a few calming words.

For a while Shalimar wasn't sure if her tears would ever stop but they slowed so that she was able to reclaim her voice to a suitable degree and talking became possible. She took a few deep breaths and sniffed. She could feel Adam's body heat through her cheek as she a calmed. 

"What's wrong?" Adam finally whispered. He pulled back slightly so he could look at Shalimar. At first she refused to lift her head to meet his eyes so Adam gently lifted her chin so that her eyes were at his level. He waited for her to answer watching her lower lip tremble wet from tears. 

"I, I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this anymore Adam." Her voice was small and hoarse making her appear smaller than she really was. Admitting weakness felt wrong for her but she so desperately needed to tell someone. Looking over to one of the plainly painted walls she waited for Adam's reaction. 

"Why don't you think you strong enough?" Adam asked gently. His eyes sparkled with a comforting mixture of humour, concern and love. Shalimar did not know how to answer the question so she stamped her foot with impatience.

"Everything! I think back over the last few years. So much as happened. So many people have died or just left. For all the people we have saved more have been forgotten. We are constantly fighting Adam, it's like every week there is a new bad guy and I just can't help but think that one week someone is going to crawl out of the woodwork and we, no, I won't be able to stop them." 

The tears were falling freely once again. Everything that had been bottled up inside her was escaping. She felt like an erupting volcano. She relaxed her hands against her side realising that she had been holding them in tight fists. The fleshy part of her palm tingled from her nails digging into them. 

"I'm always fighting Adam. I can't do it for much longer. I'm so tired, I just want to relax." Her voice was a soft whine. Pride had been long forgotten; all that mattered was the pure fear that had been building in the bottom of her stomach for what felt like forever. 

Adam hushed the young girl as he placed a strand of hair behind her ear. His smile still shone on his face. It was a sad smile one that he wore in bad situations. A smile that was a worry free, a smile that meant things would be fine. In some situations in the past it was beyond his control to make them better. Shalimar knew this yet somehow this smile always had the desired effect on her. She had all her trust placed in this one man effectively making him her god. 

"I know it's hard. You'll be able to sleep soon I promise you but not right now you have to fight. It will be hard and it will be everyday but its what all of you have to do. You have a responsibility as a member of Mutant X. You can't give up Shalimar, I know you never really would, you couldn't." 

Shalimar looked at him in confusion. Her eyes blurry and red with tears. She waited on Adam's words like a small child listening to stories of the world from her father. 

"It takes someone with strength to question themselves. You're a mutant not immortal. To be strong you have to face your fears and live with them. People think that being a superhero, protecting the innocent is hard, its not. Living is the hard part. Having to face everyday knowing that the world's not perfect, now that takes real strength."

Shalimar closed her eyes, a smile played on her own lips one similar to Adam's. It was a jaded smile from someone with understanding and experience of the world. All of a sudden she looked older. Under the lab lighting her face appeared gaunt. Her skin was ghost like without its golden glow. Black circles framed her eyes. With her smile the thin lines around the corner of her mouth and the crows feet around her eyes became more visible.

"Were you being a strong when you left Adam? Was it easy dying a hero? Was it easy to leave me?" Shalimar spoke softly. Her words should have been laced with anger. She should be feeling anger but it seemed so far away at this moment. 

Her questions were met with only the quite murmurings of the lab machinery. Slowly and she opened her eyes. Brown now dry and filled with regret. She was alone, no Adam, on scientific experiment half completed on the side, nothing. She wanted to cry but without Adam it seemed impossible. If she started now how could she stop without the support of the man who had saved her as a teenager?

She needed to go now. She needed to go calm Brennan, to confront Lexa she needed to be there for Jesse. She couldn't just get her feet to move. The lab still smelt of Adam, she wasn't sure if the others could still smell him or if it was just the feral in her. She had never had the heart to ask. 

With a loud sigh she sat on a lone stool. How was she going to be strong?   

THE END

NB/ Okay this is the result in my need to write something random. I was re watching the end of the second series (wish sky would show the third) and this is what I come up with. They all think that Adam is dead in this. Hope you like and review please.


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